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The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the rollers.
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You can't drive your car in the rain.
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Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your car.
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You are afraid to drive your car.
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You spend more on tires than on food.
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You spend more on car insurance than on house payments.
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You look in a state police car and see a picture of your car taped to the dash.
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You throw your underwear in the garbage rather than the hamper.
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You have to go to the track to buy gas.
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Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you.
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You measure the fuel you use in "gallons per mile".
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Your engine idles at 2800 rpm.
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You're tempted to wear your fire suit just to drive to the office.
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Red signal lights shift to green as you're approaching then shift back to red as you're receding.
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You arrive somewhere before you left.
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You get pulled over for doing 155 in a 35 but the cops will let you go if "they can look under the hood."
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You remove the $2000 stereo system to save 6 lb. of weight.
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You are not allowed to run in the Silver State Challenge.
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You get an anonymous phone call asking if you are interested in being in the Cannonball Run.
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Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you drive the car.
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You need parachute braking.
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Your 'significant other' won't even ride in the car.
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There is no possible way to "sneak out" of your neighborhood at 6 am.
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Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage door is opened. (Pets, and all the neighbors...)
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Family photos throughout the house are replaced with life-sized posters of your car.
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Fuel is delivered to your home in 55 gallon drums
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You carry earplugs in your car.(doesn't everybody???)
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The only spot on the car which receives any regular cleaning is the windshield. (what else is there to clean???)
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You find out that side mirrors don't hold up at speeds exceeding 145 mph.
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Young children cling to their mommies in fear when you round the corner.
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Birds fall out of their nests from the rumble of your 5" dual exhaust.
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All the major Tire makers are sending you free slicks in hopes of endorsment deal.
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The UPS guy took to taking Steroids so he could keep up with your shipments.
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The Fed Ex guy had a nervous breakdown.
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All the wildlife within a 800ft radius around your house got the HELL OUT.
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The nearest Geological Seismic Surveying Station Operator knows your address by heart.
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A booming voice greets potential passengers with, "That's right you paid for the whole seat but you'll only need the EDGE.
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The earth slows in rotation when you hook up on your new slicks and head east.
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You have to screw your slicks to the wheels.
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Your exhaust pipes are larger in diameter than your driveline.
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Your fuel pump flows enough to water a golf course.
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Your compression's high enough you could run diesel fuel.
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The sparks from your wheelie bars start grass fires on the side of the
road.
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